itsaboutwhatireallyfeel

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

FINALLY MEET MY BESTFRIEND.<3>

after so long. finally i meet my bestfriend. YAY! miss her so much seyy. NABS and JOCYE went to meet me straight after school. so sweet ryte?. kinda feel very weird. we used to merepek and all. but just now i was so damn tired that i barely laugh or to go with the flow. nab was telling us some jokes. and it is supposed to be funny. sad thing is im not laughing?. why huh??.. mayb im too tired i guess. or maybe something bothering me that i even daydream in the middle of their conversation. so yearh before meeting them, i went home with. lelaa gila,lisha,neerah,vasanthi and nurul jannah. the six of us. we were like talking at the top of our voice while on our way back to interchnge. hahaa. oh ya nurul jannah wanted to be stewardess. she soooo can be la!. pretty and tall. ohmy oh my. we sharee the same ambition. to be stewardess. hmm for me to be stewardess? hmm FAT HOPE LA. urrggh. i need to lose weight. GET RID OF FATSS. then i can sign up myself to be stewardess. 4 N level can lah eh?. hahah. waatever! ok get back to wat im supposed to blog. thn walk arnd j8 with jannah and vasanthi while waiting for nabz and joyce. oh ya I BOUGHT THAT BUTTON EAR stud. i wanna buy limegreen actually then jannah was like forcing me to buy blue cos it goes well with my uniform. err. okay i kinda find it nice also. hmm so yearh after window shopping with them. meet up NABZ and Joyce. they were like complaining of hunger. so we decided to have lunch at long john silver instead of mac. after that went to BUBBLE TEA shop the place that we usually hangout. it brings alot of memories. sweet and bad memories. sweet memories is.. we used to go there everyday after school. bad memories is whn THAT GTSD just has to spoils it. anyway its all about the past. it will never repeat again. i hope u guys still rmbr those days tt we spent together and keep that as a memory. looking back at the old days.. ive never thought that it would end up like this. everyone go on separate ways. i hate losing contacts. eerrm ya. thnks nabz and joyce for your time today. oh ya the letter! I write to you back k nabz. i'll pass it on to someone once i finish writing it. so wait for my letter yearh. anyway im fcking hungry already. stomach groaning. MAMA cooks SAMBAL TUMIS IKAN. yay! my favourite. drool* okay i better get going. after dinner. i bath and watch tv. and OFF TO BED. i need to sleep. OH YA TML SCHOOL STARTS LATE. 1030! yearh. eat breakfast AT MAC!. oh ya girls. tml meet at interchnge 930am. dont be late. okay OUTS. love love!

ps. i didnt see zain ruffedge in school today. sigh. hahaha.

Last Updated @ 5:58:00 PM

Sunday, January 22, 2006

BOREDOM KILLS ME.

Okay simply said. im friggin bored at home. imagine stayed at home for 1 whole solid week?. i've never get used to this cos for the past few weeks i've been spending my whole day outside with my fellow friends. hmm now?. no way. no more outings. no more slacking. i try to stick to this. i told mum that i wanna make myself free on weekends. i seriously need to start mugging on my assignments. to aim straight A's is not an easy thing to do. i never thought that its gonna be that tough. but hell ya. after getting all those assignments and also the intake of passes. it scares me ALOT. so now i have to start studying. the fact that i've never had any office background. im afraid that i might lose interest on this course. hopefully i would be able to catch up. anyway mum and dad''s not at home. and i feel so emptied. my youngest sis went to attend religious class and my elder bro went for shooting film. so im all left alone at home sitting infront of my compt blogging cos thats the only thing i can do for now. fold clothes? nahh. that would be the last thing i wld do. after blogging mayb?. the thought of folding clothes kills me. seriously can i do smth else besides than folding clothes. its damn boring can!?. urrggh. okay wtever!. i shall just continue blogging. alrytes. how's my ITE LIFE?. hmm...

First day in ITE COLLEGE CENTRAL.

i wasnt really feeling excited on the first day i step into this brand new school. i feel like im in the different world. world of unknown. everyone seems a total stranger to me. i've never look forward to go to school. i was kinda frightened by the surroundings. the people there as i expected, they are so so much different to those ppl that i've met bfre. easy said. they are so different frm my FRIENDS. i feel so weird to be surrounded with ppl that is a total stranger to me. the way they speak, walk and so on.. makes me feel weird arnd them. mayb its just the first day of school. the worst thing is there's not even one that i know. i feel like a freaking loner in school. i dont even know anyone of them. the only thing i could do now is to just make friends and friends and more friends. frankly speaking im not independent enough. i've never going recess on my own. and do stuff all by myself. i need someone to be there. i feel so weird not having anyone to talk with. i hate the feeling of being a loner. i've never been in that situation before. i know how it feels like not having someone to talk to on the first day in school. the thing is most of ppl that i mixed arnd have their own friends who comes frm the same school. IM THE ONE AND ONLY PEIRCEANS there. and others have their friends to wait for them after school. urrggghh. so what actually happen during break is. i try to go on my own. but to no avail. I CANT. at that point of time. i cried my hearts out.i feel like a small baby. i dont know why im crying. the tears just keep flowing down by itself. its so heartwrenching to see others sitting down with their friends while im still standing there looking for ppl to sit with. i cant control myself i just cried. so thank god nana msg me at that time. the time whn i feel so down. she ask me how's school and so on. so i replied her. i ask her to give me a call. abt a few mins time. nabz called. so while on the phone with them im still crying. to hear their voice seriously make me feel like crying and crying. i was so down that time. while on the phone. there's this 2 girls sitting and they are frm the same grp as me. so. thnk god. i join them to have my lunch. after i hung up with nabs/nana. they ask me why am i crying. i told em that i missed my friends so much. and seriously i cried cos i missed them so much never thot tt i wld end up myself in ITE. anyway now everything is fine. i found quite alot of friends. MINAHS, and non minahs. hahaha. OKOK. watver it is. im there to study. yearhh thats it. anyway thnks jocelyn for your motivation. =)

LOSING GRIPS?

it seems that we are losing grips. everything chnge. i just cant believe this can happen. what about CGC now?. no one called me. msg me. ask me how's my life and all. no more receiving any calls frm them. what happen?. why is everyone so busy until they had no time to pick up calls or msg?. a simple msg would do. but sadly i dont get any. everything chnge.. i just dont know why. mayb they are THAT busy. if they still care for me or think of me. sooner or later they will. i hope so.

i was on the phone with nab ytd. and i talk pretty long.. abt 1 hr plus. or mayb more then tt. she tell me abt what happen in school. i realised it had chnge so much after i left school. not to say wat.. aftr knowing what happen and all. kinda feel disappointed. anywayy life has to move on. for good. yearhh tts IT. i wanna meet up soon. SOON?. how soon?. mayb tuesday how bout tt?. im friggin bored. ok i shall just end here. will update again. till then. rul LOVES ya.

ps: i saw this mat salleh sesat who looks like travis barker. and the thing is HIS the hottest guy in this school well of cos the girls go crazy over him. duh! urrgggh. he's half eurasian half malay. but he totally dont look like malay. the first person tt i went school with. is HIM. and he was smoking away. wearing his black suit and black pants with his pierced lips. and his striking blonde hair. my god. HE'S a good catch to those minahs. oh ya did i tell ya that he already got 2 bloody desperate bodyguards?. yearh apparently this 2 typical minahs are the bodyguards. they are fighthing for him. so desperate can?. urrgghh. disgusted* anyway there's this guy who looks like zain ruffedge i keep bumping onto him. wherever i go. i see him. it feels so weird yet so nice to see him arnd. HOW?. i somehow got a crush on him. its been 5 days in a row i bumped onto him. hehhs. -GRINS.

Last Updated @ 3:39:00 PM

Friday, January 20, 2006

MY SCHOOL LIFE.

THINGS I NEED TO DO:
more and more assignments
wellness- SW
tolerate the mats/minahs
making new friends (hopefully all of them)
wake up early in the morning
study real hard AIM FOR A'S in all sub
projects!

CORE MODULES

Office Computing (OFC)
Effectives Communication (EFC)
Office Organisation (OFO)
Personal& Interpersonal Effectiveness

ELECTIVE MODULES

Finance
Sports and Wellness
THS

so these list above are the modules that i have for this course. i need to pass ALL. and i aim for A'S or B's in all the modules. i have to study real hard already. sigh

Last Updated @ 12:22:00 AM

Sunday, January 15, 2006

ITS BEEN 3 DAYS IN A ROW. WE MEET UP. WPS/PSS. YAY! IM SO GONNA MISS THIS.

wps cum peirceans. yay! widen the circle of friends. i love my CGC and i love my peirceans. so i cant simply do favourtism like spending my time with only the other half of my friends and neglect the rest. i think by having this 3 days 'outing' somehow manage to keep our bondings btw wps/pss. yay!. so im like now onlining with lili. so he thot of naming us. the CLAN GUE CONNEXIONS. (CGC) a mixture of wps and pss.

so we went to marina square. play POOL. as usual. cos bowling lane has been booked. dammit! IM LIKE friggin bored la. stay there for solid 2 hours. the thing is i dont even know how to play pool. lucky enough. louisa and jocelyn come to meet us! hahaha.. like so sweet ryte?. they are from orchard come all the way to marina square to meet me. im so honoured and they are like complaining of boredom. haha thats like usual them. always complaining abt how boring life is. anyway at that point of time im kinda bored too. cos the guys are like freaking enjoying themself playing and the girls just slack arnd. so decided to walk arnd marina square with louisa, jocelyn and piingx. took tons of pictures! haha. will post it here whn im free. after that go back to pool to meet the guys. guess what for the first time i reach home just on time!. im so touched by all my friends. they send me to the mrt station. i didnt want to. initially they just escort me frm behind. so touched=x hmm. thanks guys!. oh ya one more thing to add. asyur and gf was there too.

list of CGC. clan gua connexions

me myself
farah
fadli
hafiz
sugardaddy
nana
dannx
piingx
zaki
zal

Last Updated @ 12:52:00 AM

Saturday, January 14, 2006

heyloo. yesterday went back to school for cca orientation. come and help out my band doing the booth decoration. listen up everyone. im no longer a PEIRCEAN. so i have to get that freaking visitor pass before i could get in. so troublesome can. ANYWAY im finally OUT frm peirce. im a visitor sey. ON MONDAY i have to start life anew, new environment. urrghh. lets get back to what happen ytd. NABILA waited for me. thnks. mwacks mwacks. anyway i was having hell lot of fun. seriously i miss all my friends and of cos the school. i was hoping to see jocelyn anne dcruz. she just have to went hme before i reach. dammit. anyway i get to see ppl like.. peihua, my BAND members, darren chad, sk, and as usual the other girls. i miss them like so much can?. anyway i didnt expect to see muji and zaki there. i was busy decorating the booth and talking to farah on the phone whn i saw zaki came towards me. i was like. ehh. you guys are here for?. anyway it wil be great then. school is no fun without having them arnd. so yearh zaki and muji wanted to tag along. so we went arnd the school snapping vain pics of us. initially im supposed to be helping the band. instead. i went arnd with my digicam took tons of pictures within the school compound. i mean like who the hell would even bothered to do that. we are just plain bored. so decided to do smth stupid like walking arnd disturbing innocent ppl. and guess what. i have always miss PLAYING CATCHING. never thot that i would be playing those kind of games anymore. its embarrasing enough but who cares. im soooo gonna miss being a kiddo. so to tell ya the truth. we actually played ccatching! ssshshh... its secret between you and me k. hah. shut up!. im so proud of myself. that i finally touch MY HORN my baby after MONTHS. and its more to like collecting dust. sad thing is. my horn spoil. wtf. we dont have any extra horn. so guess what?.. my golden opportunity is.I GET TO PLAY TRUMPET! wooohoo!. I MEAN. like that is what i always wanted. its my freaking first time. playing trumpet in concert. i do abit of side reading. thank god. ive played those song before. so more or less i know how it goes like. and i dont encounter any rythmic prob. I CAN REACH MY HIGH HIGH NOTE. mind you im not a trumpeter. i would like to be one. arhh shut up rul. okok i just stick to my horn. shall not betray the fhornist. FHORN shall unite k!anyway after cca orientation zaki plead me to have dinner with him. he was like begging me to come along. being a nice friend to him. i just go with the flow. so yearh my stomach groaning i didnt eat for the whole day. then the malay guys come down. and yearh! lili billy is there also. he's late. SO whats the punishment?. he's late, he even dare to call me kencet. just tell me do i deserved that. haha. cibeiix. k la.. tts all. happy ending. oh ya i got small argument with that bus driver. and i never wanna tell ya what happen. ok i gtg now. bbye. PENG HONG MISSES ME. aww isnt that sweet. hehs. too much crapp already. bye chiaoz. OUTS baby.=)

Last Updated @ 12:45:00 AM

Thursday, January 12, 2006

heyloo just come back from coffee bean. yay like finally i get to see JOCELYN ANNE DCRUZ. after waited for bloody long. i miss her so much la. anyway its raining cats and dogs. and im freezing cold now. suddenly got the urge to blog about today. i miss everyone altho i just met them last week. its quite a big group. ex westlakians and peirceans. so its a mixture of diff ppl that come frm a diff school. which i guess its pretty good having them to know each other well. cos that is what i always want. widen the circle of friends. so let me list out their names.

Peirceans friends:
piingx, danial, zaki, muji, zain, nabila, jocelyn, arif and NANA!.

My westlake friends:
farah dibah and my clan gue name lili.
so lili brought his friend along. im not sure how many.
the hot news is that.. I SAW MY EX CRUSH and he happen to be lili's friend. annyway he's just my ex crush. and oh ya last but not least shafiq frm braddell westlake was there too.

so what actually happen is that. i was having this so called press conference with my family about my future. which route shld i go. arhhh.. the thing is now im still thinking where should i go. MDIS, PRIVATE or ITE?. i still yet to decide which is the best for me. i need to give my parents the answer latest by tonight. my god. its like the matter of life and death. haha.. ok crapp.

ok get back to what happen today. being the nice rul. i decided to join them. how nice can i get?. i mean my friends are like dying to see me. and i cant possibly disappoint them ryte. and i dont want to be called PEM BUEY. HAHAAH. ok la im nice rite jocelyn? being nice is good. good is nice. haha. despite raining cats and dogs i still spare somtime for you. haha.. kidding la. so i sit down and chat arnd with them. untill 6 plus. so were talking about how's life and all. HAHA, and yes one more thing! i saw my PORT tWO. haha. he was like walking through the entrance and i just have to comment this. HE'S LIKE A FREAKIN mat la. with his hair spike like that. haha. but he still look good. have u ever heard this saying. GOOD looking mats. he's face resemble harry's face which is like so freaky can. the way he walk is like so funny with his small sling bag. i dont think he saw me. THANK GOD baby. i was actuually busy chatting up with lili. then we were like siting exactly facing the entrance where he came in from. so thats how i got to see him and i almost burst out laughing in the middle of my conversation with lili. haha. funny funny..

so after one table i move to the next table. i think for those who were there they'll get what i mean by moving frm one table to another. so im back with the peirceans. they'll still stay the same. their blonde jokes and their disgusting pathethic stuff that they usually did. i mean its fun to have them around especially whn they start spitting out nonsense like making up stories. i guess its fun. oh ya. my gua2 friends is forever SO nonsense. so bear with em peirceans! peirceans friend is not any better they come from diff world but has the similar way of living. u dont get what i mean? then forget it. rul start her crapp already. dont blame me.i got this disease from jocelyn she had turn me being the OFF one. so dont get near jocelyn cos she's contagious. haha kidding there.

HERE COMES THE MOMENT OF SATISFACTION. THE HOT NEWS IS. FARAH DIBAH LAUGH HER ASS OUT SEEING HER POOR LIL FRIEND GOT DRENCHED IN THE RAIN AND GETTING BULLIED BY THE NAME OF HER OWN IDIOTIC BROTHER NAME MUHAMMAD DANIAL. AND THE THING IS FARAH STOOD THERE WITH HER BLUE UMBRELLA LAUGHING HER ASS OUT. - my god this is so HOT news.

i just pitty her poor little friend here. i pitty myself can?. let me tell you what happen. ok so after slacking at coffee bean. eeveryone decided to make a move. cos its pretty late already almost 6.
so we decided to go to that back entrance (which is the long john silver place) the thing is it is still raining. and i dont mind getting myself caught in the rain cos im used to it already. so my other beloved intan payung friend they took out their umbrella. so being the nice FARAH frm the START ONLY. offer me shelter. so we make our way down the path. smth bad had happen to me. zaki and all didnt get any shelter so were playying in the rain kicking the wet muddy ground with our bare foot. THIS smart rul here just happen that her slipper got stuck while she was about to kick. so danial the idiotic brother of mine just happen to walk behind me. i thot he was being nice to help me pick up my slipper and give it back to me. instead. he throw it to the muddy field. MY GOD. you'll never believe how cruel my brother is at that time. ish ish ish! dasyat. haha. so thats the reason i got drenched in the rain. farah could only spare me laughter and stood there without helping her friend. cos she's still laughing looking at my pathetic facial expression. i got myself wet and dirtied myself with some muddy lotion. wohhoo! having a great time. urrgghh dammn. i myself lauggh my ass out. and almost peed on my pants. THAT is so memorable. THE SATISFACTION is i got to hit dannx using farah's UMBRELLA .. hahha.! i thot i could at least gain some sympathy from auntie bubble tea. nevertheless she's like supporting danial the reason she gave me was that. haha.. she's big already to get bullied.
dannx become big headed. and i run after him with that umbrella. and i call it as my satisfaction. ANYWAY i saw abng an today. thank god muji didnt do anything stupid. he's capable of waving at strangers. typical him. haha. ok OUTS. aamek KO FARAH DIBAH!=P

Last Updated @ 7:07:00 PM

alryte alryte. everyone has been bugging me to blog. so yearh i shall just blog short and sweet. YAY! more update abt my life coming up next. for now its already 430am in the morning. and im freaking tired already. i guess i shld just end here. anyway i miss you girls!. eyearh. below is the song ive been listening to this few days. what has gotten into me?. im stuck with korean songs and drama. haaha wtaever. so i get this lyric specially for you girls out there. a direct translation of yuh ja ee ne ka. korean song.

Because im a girl
English version of yuh ja ee ne ka

I just can't understand the waysOf all the men and their mistakes.
You give them all your heart, and then they rip it all away...
You told me how much you loved me
And how our love was meant to be.
And i believed in you, i thought that you would set me free...
(chorus)
You should've just told me the truth
That i wasn't the girl for you...
Still i didn't have a clue
So my heart depended on you... Whoah
Although i'll say 'i hate u' now
Although i'll shout and curse you out...
I'll always have love for you
Because i am a girl

(*)Been told a man will leave you cold
Get sick of you and bored...
I know that it's no lie
I gave my all still i just cry
Never again will i be fooled, to give my all
When nothing's true...
I won't be played again, but i will fall in love again...
(chorus)
You should've just told me the truth
That i wasn't the girl for you...
Still i didn't have a clue
So my heart depended on you...
Although i'll say 'i hate u' now
Although i'll shout and curse you out...
I'll always have love for you
Because i am a girl
I loved u so... now u leave me in the cold
How could this be, i thought that u'd only love me...
Into the night, i will pray that you're alright
You hurt me soI can't let u go

(bridge)
You took advantage of my willingness to do anything for love
Now i'm the only one in pain... will you please take it all away~ Oh~
(chorus)
Never thought born being a girl
How i can love you and be burned...
And now i will build a wall, to never get torn again

Although i'll say 'i hate u' now
Although i'll shout and curse you out...
I'll always have love for you
Because i am a girl
Although i'll say 'i hate u' now
Although i'll shout and curse you out...
I'll always have love for youBecause i am a girl

Last Updated @ 4:21:00 AM

Friday, January 06, 2006

hello everyone. im kinda tired now. anyway chnge new blogskin. how do ya think?. nice?.. or is it too plain.. pls post your comments at my taggie. thnks. im tired. till then blog again somehow.. tml?.. bbye=)

Last Updated @ 11:46:00 PM